Last night I was at the feet of Marcus, just talking about the generalities of day to day.. I did enjoy the time there and tried to tell that my feelings for both he and Max are so different... I have had completely different relationships with them. With Max one of love, with Marcus one of slavery. In all my years these are the two men who have made such impressions on my life in such different ways... I always feel so torn and yet torn from two very different sides of me. Ivy was found by Aris spying on us and she was dragged to his feet as well.. it was quite enjoyable watching her grovel to keep his attention or try off of me.
With a suddenness, Ivy was lifted and carried off.. His expression when he looked at me said so much that I just could not breath.. never in my life had I felt so shallow and conflic......
[the page was torn from the book and tossed into the kitchen fire......]
Saturday, October 02, 2004
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