Saturday, December 30, 2006

Dark of Night

It was the Inn that I blamed my inability to sleep. All the noise, the footsteps of boots across the tems. I wondered a few times if they sounded like the walk of Trusk. In reality it was my body that was intent on keeping me awake. Again I have to quell the belly and the urges like I did many years ago when Max first left. By the time Akil met me I had become a woman terrified of touch and he forced his way through the high walls I put up and gave me a place to be what I was. Meeting up with Dawson again was the undoing of the heat let out. Now he is gone and his intensive training of the last hands must be reversed and I must put my body at rest and to a dormant stage again. It is so hard with the heart connected to each part of my flesh. It will be my will that must break the chain.

The night tossed and turned away. My thoughts to Trusk. I saw him briefly from my window as he came back to the Inn. The last conversation we had bringing a newborn hope. I am trying to have a strong outlook, forward movement. Seeking the future like he has urged me to do. Still, the darkness will come and go as the emotions run their course and settle into something liveable. He is understanding and strong. I am grateful for his presence in my life. I hope he feels the same about mine.

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