Reflections..

There will always be men that I will meet that are so strong that they inspire this thing in me. There will always be men in my life that think they do inspire these things and yet they can scratch no farther than the surface of my skin.

I stood on the edge of danger this past hand. For a moment I thought I could step away from my life and take a dive into this world in which I was born. Emotion is a powerful thing and can not always be controlled. There were times in this past hand that the sensible side of me would watch what the impetuous side of me was doing. I was powerless to stop myself in a proactive sense. Beneath it all, well, I hope I would have done the right thing.

I found myself beginning to care for a man that took me down memory lane. I found myself beginning to care for a man that was able to put his fingers on the pulse of the woman of hunger on the inside. The Bela of old is there, she is tempered, subdued just enough. I need to remember that and I need to introduce her to Akil, not keep her hidden until someone reminds me that she is there. There is a fine line of just how much the born slave should show. I was once told that I was too beautiful as a slave to be free of collar. So.. I tend to not show much of that woman. Perhaps it is time to trust Akil, fully.

I almost walked away from this life .. while it would have been easy at first, down the road I would have regretted my choices.

Some things I do know about myself. I have always been a woman of indecision, my actions usually stem from that flaw alone. It is why I require a very strong man who will keep me in line.

Some things I do know about myself..