Meeting from the past

Last night was a night I had never expected. Last night I got a glimpse of a woman long lost. The fiery Port Karian woman. What was so interesting about her back then. What makes men who knew her intent on finding her again? I would like to say that she was an ordinary slave like the rest. Perhaps, perhaps not. I know I was despised by other slaves. I was despised by free women as well because I was not afraid to be just what I was. As it was put to me, I was comfortable in my own skin and I had a fiery spark that came out around free women. Meeting Dawson again last night has flooded me with memories of ages gone by making me realize just how old I am. When he mentioned Jaren he put me back in the time when I knew him .. at first I did not recognize him but after a time speaking with him.. it is the presence I remember so well. Back then would Dawson have saved me like Jaren did. Jaren had watched me for the longest time go from collar to collar. For a time I was plagued by men that would collar then disappear, then stolen, collared to disappear and so on. After about a dozen times Jaren stepped in and told he me would take me and sell me to a better owner. I was ever grateful by then and not long after that I was Jaren's, there would be no sale. He did have a companion back then, she despised me and so he freed me and shoved manumission papers in my hands as I knelt naked before him at the falls. It was the most bizarre moment of my life I think. With no where to go I found myself at a paga den dancing on a table for a man quite intent on having me for his. Jaren had followed me to storm into that paga den, carrying me away while telling me I would not be lost to him again. What would have happened if Jaren hadn't have died... Fate is a tricky thing.

Introductions between Akin and Dawson did not go well. Within a moments time I was offered an out to go with Dawson which completely shocked and enraged me. The two of them were a hundred times worse than the meeting between Akil and Maximus. I am just shocked by the behavior and the lack of civility with all the name calling. Akil could not understand my anger so we ended up on a somewhat stare off until I excused myself to go about my business. This side of Akil is not endearing at the least.

My night of sleep was fitful at best. Visions of years gone by. Have I gotten that lost in my travels that the woman that drew men to risk much to have me has gone into a deep sleep? Would Akil have liked that woman I once was? Over the time with him I have become his woman, a new version of the old. I feel so dull and lifeless, always trying to balance myself to stay free. Granted I am safe with Akil, I am allowed my status of free woman to work and raise my children and allowed to writhe beneath him as the woman I was born as.

I mentioned my desire to travel to Turmus, he has declined that request. I mentioned it was time to see the physician for renewal of sip root. He declined that for now to think about it more. I will not be put in the position again of taking the blame for a mans hasty actions. No, no. No.

It is off to market today, I have some shopping to do and the walk will do me good. The Cabot children and growing fast, all I seem to do is replace outgrown clothing. Madelaine will accompany me today, she is feeling left out as Maxine is busy with her schooling and Maximus is busy with his young warriors training.