I care for the Scribe

Today I bear the marks of my Master, upon me are three bite marks.. to my neck, my hip and to my inner wrist, the bruising there fanning out over translucent skin where the veins can be seen. While that sort of pain is not pleasant, it was like the whipping.. I offered myself for more because I was helpless to do otherwise. His control over me excites me to the deepest of places.

I must admit to feeling a bit defeated today. Carefully guarded feelings are no longer mine, my fears having to be said while he tormented me with denial of movement, everything I was experiencing at that moment with the instruction that it would be said and it didn't start out so badly until he asked a direct question for me to answer. After having to tell him that I felt things deeper than before or that I could not remember feeling things as acutely, he then asked me what that said about time with Max and now time with him. I was caught within my own trap, no movement of aroused body to rely on, my having only the avenue of speech. I tried to evade his interrogation by vagueness and I told him I felt lost before and now I did not feel so lost. He left me sitting there, his touch removed and telling he that I was still lost.

At first I was content to sit there by myself for I felt I had come a great way in conveying to him what I was thinking and feeling but knowing he was on the other side of that bathing room door and knowing that I had committed the crime again of half truths.. it was not long before I was crawling to the side of the tub and confessed what had been so hard to say to him. I told him that I had grown to care for him very much and was afraid if I told him this that he would go away, that I didn't want to wander again wishing I could not feel. This ... this.. was the hardest thing ever to say. He told me that he will not go, that I am his property and he has shown that he does not take these things lightly. I earned his touch again, he pushing me to yield to him quite beautifully and his pleasure found in his slave who cares for him very much..

So begins a new day.. I am defeated by my own entrapment. I confess to caring for the Scribe.. I confess my fears by his having this knowledge. His possession of me deepens.. each day I lose more of my defenses, I am sure he thinks this is a good thing... I.. while it is hard to face a man such as he, to strip away everything to give to him .. it is his now to take. With all the clothing I wear, I feel so naked. Naked.. something he likes to see on me....

Today I bear the marks of my Master.. some quite beyond the surface..