Confessions

I sit and stare at this page....

I do not know where to begin.. I am not sure what it is but yesterday something overwhelming happened to me. He studies me, he asks me questions and he holds a conversation with me seeking the information about me that he desires. He listens to what I say, he watches how I respond to him yet, I am not sure he thinks I want to be with him... he is certain that I will someday beg to be sold to a warrior.....

He took me to a place I am not sure I have experienced and when I think back to Marcus... bound to the pole, his whip of my breasts and his rape... he did not even scratch the surface of the slave that I will be with the man, the Scribe.

I feel like I have been cut open and he is reaching in and dragging out a woman who is screaming and trying to go back into her shell.. the first light in her eyes so painful, consuming to the bone and so breathtaking that I am left so confused. I feel so alive, so raw.. so needful yet maybe some parts of me tries to continue to hide.

As he spoke to me, he allowed me against him and I enticed his desires by doing what came natural.. pressing me away from him he stood and led me into his room and once there I was a woman out of control, at his feet, servicing with a hunger from the connection made on the beach yet instead of taking his fill of me he pushed me away and ordered me to the ring in the corner and by wrist I was shackled.. it is quite something to be so vulnerable and helpless to a man and I will confess that I was hot and quite willingly displaying like a whore to earn my slave rape but he instead took a kurt to my flesh.

He seemed to take great delight in this but not in a sadistic way.. Master of slave and her body, he put me though my paces and found I writhed well under he and his whip. He asked if Max had been equally pleased by my writhing, saying I yielded well. I told him Max had never whipped me amid the turmoil yet so responsive body. I think this amused him and he said it was another of Max's mistakes as in such a state, I was beautiful. I will not say I understand what makes a man tick.. I do not understand why he thought me so beautiful at that moment but I do know I felt it and begged blantantly for sexual use. He took me as he was inspired to take me as he pleased, he was harsh and business like, using me simply, nothing more with the command that I was not to release.

Afterward, he put upon me his desires, for three days I can not touch him, I shall eat from his hand.. I shall sleep shackled to the ring. I accepted this, what choice did I have and besides.. I have spent many hands away from Max at the time so three days is a pittance. Yet, why did I seem happy by all of this .. being deprived and such.

He is a man to ponder.