Aris took me out to the springs today and now I am a bit battered, have some bleeding scratches and Aris is in a foul mood. He has his nerve being angry at me, did I not endure him groping that wench in front of me. Did I not have to suffer through the cruel things she said to me about Marcus? I will admit to getting down and dirty with her, I did say some cruel things to her which is what spurred her to attack me but I was glad she did as I wanted to inflict my own pain on her.
As much as I love Max, to touch upon my slavery again then left to not experience it is rather disheartening. Aris see's I wait for him again and what choices do I have now as a slave and not a free woman. The child stirs and is restless and it will be anytime soon that it will demand to be part of our life. Since the fight with the slave I have not been feeling that well.
She has forced me to see that I have quickly lost what Marcus was teaching me, that the slave he was pulling out of me to be seen again has quickly taken cover and closed the door. I hated her today for being so slave like and smug about it. Too, I admired her for it and will hardly let her know this, it will only swell her head beyond reason.
Today.. she made me miss the things that Marcus made me feel. I know I have missed him on and off but I have tried to put my focus where my life is. Things are not turning out as I hoped but that seems to be the direction of my life..
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