I awoke with a suddenness and bolted upright with heavy breaths. My heart was pounding in my chest and I had to stop and try to think what was happening to me. Was it Madeline crying that woke me up? As I listened I heard nothing but silence. In the distance the normal sounds of the crewmen working, I, however, was aggitated and could not touch upon the restlessness. My soul felt touched and it has brought me to an emotional mess because inside is that woman, Max's woman, who aches in his absense. When I looked I saw that the door was a bit ajar and bound out of the bunk to run topside. Aris was seen and as I approached him, he could see that I upset by something, I could not even tell him what until he told me that Maximus had been here. I began to weep and was so angry at him for not waking me to see the man I need so desperately! Aris stood there cooly and I hated him and wished he would go away, I turned to flee from him and back into the cabin. It was here I sat with this journal agonizing over how to write about so many different sides of pain that I feel.
My greatest pain is my smugness in thinking he would not see me bruised and scratched... I am not beautiful to look upon, my Masters gaze would have met with the ugliness of his slave. Marks there not put there by him but a result of a fight of vanity between one slave and another. Wasn't I so jovial thinking what trouble Ivy might find with Marcus when I had the distance of my Master for protection.
*Just then Aris came and told Bela that Max was on deck waiting for her...the book left where it was, Bela rushing to the deck to get to her Master*
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