I will be ready ...

What started as my defiance to keep him out of my world ended in me being quite frightened in what would happen if he had to force entry into my room. How smart I was thinking to throw the bolt on that door as if that would keep him out of my heart, my head and my life. Comparing myself found me on the edge of a confusion, unsure just where I stood with Akil and so I ran, seeking out a safe haven, to not end up back in time, to not end up back in that place I hated. Uncertainty drives me to such drastic behavior at times.

While I listened to him pushing his way through that door, finally I shouted at him to go away but in my heart I knew I did not want him to go. I am his submitted woman, what else can I be and to think of a day without him brought a recoil of doubt and finally the latch slid out of place to allow him entry. I did however run for cover because I knew he was angry at me. My only weapon a thrown slipper, putting my foot down on my independence of it all, taking my rights! It was a soft gesture but one that demanded my space. A gesture he would not comply to, a gesture that brought me within his grip and he taking his rights as a man.

In the tradition of our birth place, Port Kar, I am now his claimed woman, his mate. While I told him I was not ready for such a thing, I was informed that I was ready and that I would be ready to accept how it is between us, who I belong to as free woman and beyond in our private world.

Yes, I am claimed in many ways and while I think I am not ready for such a step, there is no where else I would rather be than where I am. His.

This morning came a smirk from Aris. I could barely walk and no doubt the entire house heard what went on in my room last night. From the battered door unlatched just before it was forced open, to his raised voice and my protests, to the awed silence as I was claimed and finally to the acceptance of it all, the night of passion laced with his punishing takings of me throughout the night forcing home just who I belong to. The smile that does not seem to leave me and the quiet manner I project today as I let it all sink in, still I am stunned. Yet Aris watched me intently, I could not tell how he really feels about all of this and with our history.... who knows. He went to the Inn this morning, no doubt to take out his feelings on the slave he likes there.