Counsel

I realize that I have no women friends in which to confide or disinterested parties in which could listen without some sort of investment in the outcome. For a long time I have been mulling something over but have been afraid to let the words be heard, afraid it would put the action into motion when I am not sure I am ready for this yet. I took a leap of faith and confided in someone I feared the most to tell these thoughts to. I feel better saying it and facing that I have these thoughts and the guilt that comes along with it. My focus was redirected for me, my view skewed to remember two things. I left this meeting barely able to breath but such a feeling of calm and peace.

Later I saw Lucian at the springs. The trip to KoRoBa is off but I have been invited to Destiny Point to visit. Perhaps I will take him up on that since it is not that far down river. Much like Port Cos yet Max seems to keep getting lost on the short journey. I wait patiently to speak to Max.

Once home I asked to meet with Aris. I am told I can trust him yet I do find I watch him like a herlit, timing him to see if he has the time to sneak off and take meetings with Dawson. He did this before. So far I think he is on the up and up. I brought to him a request that surprised him or perhaps did not surprise him at all. I almost regretted making him part of this but he managed to accept my request and help me. I do not know what has come over me, I am driven to succeed.