How cool and retortive I was. I rather enjoyed his bit of misery he let me see. Tonight I think Dawson was very honest with me while I spilled lie after lie and then more lies to him as if every word was the truth. I have always been told I am prideful. I am. I am also a terrible liar.
I felt like an uptight free woman again.. worried about proper behavior to a man I submitted myself heart and soul to, to a man I lay naked before while he took out every desire on my flesh. Yet now I must stand tall and stiff, as if I never did these things... as if he has no affect on me.
Back in robes this time is worse than it has ever been. Am I finally realizing this? I have let man after man tell me that I am not a free woman but they would allow me to live this facade anyway. Perhaps it is because this time Dawson touched upon the woman I had been so lost without. Losing her again is so painful.
As always.. I will land on my feet, I shall prevail.
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