Many days have passed since I have touched this secret book of my thoughts. For a time I caressed the ribbon that held this sanctuary closed. What would I write? What could I write? Then I realize, I have much to say.
Happiness has been hard won. The light I live in now is certainly warm and enveloping. I can not remember a time where I felt more at home and like I belonged in a place or to a place. I am settling into Jula nicely. The warehouse is filling from the winery in Turmus. A rented ship has been doing well enough and we have not experienced any piracey on the river. I need to sit down and pen a note to Marcus telling him of my news and settling the business of the Ar winery.
With Akil there is an easiness that I have not felt before. I realize that he will handle our life and that I can look at a future that is there, this makes me more inclined to be myself and not a woman I think he wants. I wonder how many times I have changed to suit the man I was with. Have I not in the end taken away the woman they desired... I hope to avoid this mistake with Akil. Walls come down and I am more willing to say what I feel knowing well Akil will not turn from me and look elsewhere, if he doesn't like my views, he changes them atop a solid foundation. A slow trust is building amid my wary eye.
As I drift through the house in search of him, many times he will be found in the garden with my.. our.. family. While the children miss Maximus and look forward to his visits, still, a family has grown. Akil on his own has created a bond with each even if the littlest still clings to my skirts shyly, it seems she adores him by that tell tale smile that is seen when Akil comes home. Thank you Akil for taking it upon yourself to do this. You have far surpassed my expectations.
To many more years...
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Days of Warmth
Many days have passed since I have touched this secret book of my thoughts. For a time I caressed the ribbon that held this sanctuary closed. What would I write? What could I write? Then I realize, I have much to say.
Happiness has been hard won. The light I live in now is certainly warm and enveloping. I can not remember a time where I felt more at home and like I belonged in a place or to a place. I am settling into Jula nicely. The warehouse is filling from the winery in Turmus. A rented ship has been doing well enough and we have not experienced any piracey on the river. I need to sit down and pen a note to Marcus telling him of my news and settling the business of the Ar winery.
With Akil there is an easiness that I have not felt before. I realize that he will handle our life and that I can look at a future that is there, this makes me more inclined to be myself and not a woman I think he wants. I wonder how many times I have changed to suit the man I was with. Have I not in the end taken away the woman they desired... I hope to avoid this mistake with Akil. Walls come down and I am more willing to say what I feel knowing well Akil will not turn from me and look elsewhere, if he doesn't like my views, he changes them atop a solid foundation. A slow trust is building amid my wary eye.
As I drift through the house in search of him, many times he will be found in the garden with my.. our.. family. While the children miss Maximus and look forward to his visits, still, a family has grown. Akil on his own has created a bond with each even if the littlest still clings to my skirts shyly, it seems she adores him by that tell tale smile that is seen when Akil comes home. Thank you Akil for taking it upon yourself to do this. You have far surpassed my expectations.
To many more years...
Happiness has been hard won. The light I live in now is certainly warm and enveloping. I can not remember a time where I felt more at home and like I belonged in a place or to a place. I am settling into Jula nicely. The warehouse is filling from the winery in Turmus. A rented ship has been doing well enough and we have not experienced any piracey on the river. I need to sit down and pen a note to Marcus telling him of my news and settling the business of the Ar winery.
With Akil there is an easiness that I have not felt before. I realize that he will handle our life and that I can look at a future that is there, this makes me more inclined to be myself and not a woman I think he wants. I wonder how many times I have changed to suit the man I was with. Have I not in the end taken away the woman they desired... I hope to avoid this mistake with Akil. Walls come down and I am more willing to say what I feel knowing well Akil will not turn from me and look elsewhere, if he doesn't like my views, he changes them atop a solid foundation. A slow trust is building amid my wary eye.
As I drift through the house in search of him, many times he will be found in the garden with my.. our.. family. While the children miss Maximus and look forward to his visits, still, a family has grown. Akil on his own has created a bond with each even if the littlest still clings to my skirts shyly, it seems she adores him by that tell tale smile that is seen when Akil comes home. Thank you Akil for taking it upon yourself to do this. You have far surpassed my expectations.
To many more years...
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